Parody of 'My Sharona' ... response to Coronaphobia 2020
Everyone is panicky, Mass insanity,
Who will be infected with Viral Corona
No-one’s leaving Italy, A calamity,
Cleanin’ up with sanitary wipes, at home, I’m
Going to the store, Wrestle shoppers to the floor for
Toilet paper, coz apparently it’s a cure for My my my my ... ACHOO!!!
Going to Alaska, Wear a mask and
Plan on travel bans to Iran and Verona.
Look up in the sky, No-one’s gonna fly,
To Japan or Wuhan, or to South Korea.
Went off on a cruise, And the captain caught the flu,
Now I’m locked up on this boat-
Cabin fever without water views! Why why why why why ????
V-v-v-viral Corona ! V-v-v-viral Corona !
Co-Vid 19, Put me into Quarantine,
Coz I ate the pangolin full of Corona ... (virus)
Now I’m stuck here, For a fortnight or a year,
Think I really need a beer, make mine a Corona,
You cannot be placid, Better stock ascorbic acid,
Overdosing vitamins A, and B, and C and D, because
I’m fi-fi-fighting Corona ... V-v-v-viral Corona!
Parody of 'Pokerface' - written for a Friday Meat Raffle supplied by Singo's Meats
Moo moo moo COW!
I go to Singo’s and I walk around the store,
Pick up slabs of meat that I pretend I can afford,
Gourmet mince, or chunky bits all frozen in a lump,
Sirloin, t-bone, and some back-end meat that isn’t rump.
Moo moo moo moo moo COW! moo moo moo moo
Every Friday morning when I know that fresh meat calls,
I think of my Italian mama cooking up meat balls,
If I get a winning ticket – well I must confess,
I do not eat that meat, Oh No, I wear it as a dress …
Moo moo moo moo moo COW! Moo moo moo moo …
My hat’s a wok, And meat is my frock!
Don’t read my don’t read my no you don’t read my use-by-date
[Everybody - Fresh Meat Friday]
Light a fire, make it higher – and then I think I’m gonna smoke a steak
[Everybody - Fresh Meat Friday]
ma ma ma ma use-by-date, ma use-by-by-date,
I’m gonna smoke a steak, I smoke a stay-ake!
Moo moo moo COW! Moo moo moo COW!
Parody of Mammamia - written for Friday Fresh Meat Raffle Draw
I’ve been eating beef stew since I don’t know when
So I made up my mind to become a vegan
Look at me now, I’m so hungry
I could eat half a cow
Oh I’ve totally lost control
Man I’m craving a casserole
Charcoal chicken – I could eat it all day,
Say Turducken – and I salivate, Wo Wo
Fresh Meat Friday – here I go again,
My my – how can I resist it,
Fresh Meat Friday – I can taste the bacon
Some one – just get me a ticket …
No broccoli for me and
No brussell sprouts or swedes, just –
Stir fry – eat it by the bucket load!
Fresh Meat Friday – now I really know,
Meat pie – I could never let you go.
Parody of 'Beds are Burning' by Midnight Oil - written for Friday Fresh Meat Draw
Out there in the courtyard, Stands a man … a cooking bloke,
The barbecue is low on diesel, The burners 400 degrees …
Now Friday’s come, Ya cupboard’s bare,
You paid the rent, Selling your SCA shares.
Til payday comes, Your only chance,
For weekend meat … Is in Singo’s sack.
Give me the tongs coz the steaks need turning.
I’m not wearing pants and my sausage is burning.
Can we eat meat on the money we’re earning?
A lack of iron in my diet is a bit concerning!
Yeah Friday’s come, Get off your seat,
Get in the draw, For Friday Fresh Meeeeat ….
Parody of 'Superstar' - written for Friday Fresh Meat Raffle Draw
Long ago … actually last Friday,
I fell in love with meat
Before the second steak …
Cooks up a mean burger,
And now, I prefer
A charcoal lamb sausage …
Don’t you remember you told me you love Fresh Friday
Don’t you recall you calling it Fresh meat pie day,
Friday Friday Friday Fresh Meat Friday
I love stew
I really do.
Parody of 'Twist and Shout' - written for Friday Fresh Meat Raffle Draw
The steaks are up baby now … Bits of cow
Cmon cmon cmon maybe now ... A bit of hog or sow,
You know there’s prizes to win, And I think you know how,
To get some stuff for the weekend, Get yr tickets right now.
Friiiii – Daaaay Freeeeeesh Meeeeat - In the boardroom right now!