In a desperate attempt to entertain myself during Co-Vid 19 lockdown ...
Parody of 'My Sharona' (by The Quack) ... response to Coronaphobia 2020
Everyone is panicky, Mass insanity,
Who will be infected with Viral Corona
No-one’s leaving Italy, A calamity,
Cleanin’ up with sanitary wipes, at home, I’m
Going to the store, Wrestle shoppers to the floor for
Toilet paper, coz apparently it’s a cure for My my my my ... ACHOO!!!
Going to Alaska, Wear a mask and
Plan on travel bans to Iran and Verona.
Look up in the sky, No-one’s gonna fly,
To Japan or Wuhan, or to South Korea.
Went off on a cruise, And the captain caught the flu,
Now I’m locked up on this boat-
Cabin fever without water views! Why why why why why ????
V-v-v-viral Corona ! V-v-v-viral Corona !
Co-Vid 19, Put me into Quarantine,
Coz I ate the pangolin full of Corona ...
Now I’m stuck here, For a fortnight or a year,
Think I really need a beer, make mine a Corona,
You cannot be placid, Better stock ascorbic acid,
Overdosing vitamins A, and B, and C and D, because
I’m fi-fi-fighting Corona ... V-v-v-viral Corona!
Parody of 'Pokerface' - written for a Friday Meat Raffle supplied by Singo's Meats
Moo moo moo COW!
I go to Singo’s and I walk around the store,
Pick up slabs of meat that I pretend I can afford,
Gourmet mince, or chunky bits all frozen in a lump,
Sirloin, t-bone, and some back-end meat that isn’t rump.
Moo moo moo moo moo COW! moo moo moo moo
Every Friday morning when I know that fresh meat calls,
I think of my Italian mama cooking up meat balls,
If I get a winning ticket – well I must confess,
I do not eat that meat, Oh No, I wear it as a dress …
Moo moo moo moo moo COW! Moo moo moo moo …
My hat’s a wok, And meat is my frock!
Don’t read my don’t read my no you don’t read my use-by-date
[Everybody - Fresh Meat Friday]
Light a fire, make it higher – and then I think I’m gonna smoke a steak
[Everybody - Fresh Meat Friday]
ma ma ma ma use-by-date, ma use-by-by-date,
I’m gonna smoke a steak, I smoke a stay-ake!
Moo moo moo COW! Moo moo moo COW!
Parody of Mammamia - written for Friday Fresh Meat Raffle Draw
I’ve been eating beef stew since I don’t know when
So I made up my mind to become a vegan
Look at me now, I’m so hungry
I could eat half a cow
Oh I’ve totally lost control
Man I’m craving a casserole
Charcoal chicken – I could eat it all day,
Say Turducken – and I salivate, Wo Wo
Fresh Meat Friday – here I go again,
My my – how can I resist it,
Fresh Meat Friday – I can taste the bacon
Some one – just get me a ticket …
No broccoli for me and
No brussell sprouts or swedes, just –
Stir fry – eat it by the bucket load!
Fresh Meat Friday – now I really know,
Meat pie – I could never let you go.
Parody of Stayin' Alive by the Bee Gees - written for Friday Meat Draw
Oh you can tell by the way I use my fork
I’m a carnivore, I love my pork,
Beef n lamb, yearling too,
I eat venison and kangaroo,
But the price of meat’s a lot to pay,
Now I have found another way,
To get some meat upon my plate
I just ignore the use-by date
Gettin’ it from Singos
Gettin’ it from Sutcliffes
Fresh meat on Fri (day)
Fresh meat on Fri (day)
Ticket is a winner
Cow for dinner
How I survive
Fa fa fresh meat
Baked in a pie, baked in a pie,
Fa Fa fresh Meat – it must be a Friiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii - day …
Barbies on I can’t wait,
Just leaned on the hot plate (AAAAAAAAH!!!)
Get a bucket of ice!
In a desperate attempt to entertain myself during Co-Vid lockdown ... Day 2.
Parody of 'True' (by Spam-Me-Daily) response to Co-vid 19 misinformation
Co-Vid 19 … Corona’s not a flu
Cough and sneeze within nine feet … I blow my nose at you ...
You know If you pull a funny face and the wind makes a change you’ll stay that way,
It’s true, we only use one tenth of our brain,
And you’ll get worms if you consume any toothpaste you just used,
You’ll get warts touching toads,
The Beatles sang backwards codes,
The Vikings wore those silly horn-helmet hats,
And Corona spreads by eating bats.
[It’s] on the internet, so – I know it must be true
[I] saw it on the web, so – I know it must be true
To regrow hair massage cod liver oil,
Vinegar and milk reduces a boil,
Eat carrots if your eyesight is bad,
Digital cameras were only a fad,
Licking your elbows can makes you go mad,
Don’t leave the house with wet hair,
You’ll catch pneumonia out there,
Just get a friend to pee on a box jelly sting,
And Co-Vid will die in the Spring!!
Wikipedia said so – I know it must be true ...
[It] came from something I read so, I know it must be true ...
Eating rotten fish won’t make you sick, [I know it must be true]
It’s fun to hit your face real hard with a brick, [I’m told that cows go moo]
Donald Trump really loves CNN, And Queen Elizabeth is my best friend ...
OJ’s glove was a perfect fit, And poor old Richard Nixon should never have quit,
Always obey the five second rule, And Co-vid 19 virus escaped from the zoo,
[This virus aint the flu, this virus aint the flu]
Prob’ly in the pouch of a red kangaroo …
Parody of 'Superstar' - written for Friday Fresh Meat Raffle Draw
Long ago … actually last Friday,
I fell in love with meat
Before the second steak …
Cooks up a mean burger,
And now, I prefer
A charcoal lamb sausage …
Don’t you remember you told me you love Fresh Friday
Don’t you recall you calling it Fresh meat pie day,
Friday Friday Friday Fresh Meat Friday
I love stew
I really do.
Parody of 'Twist and Shout' - written for Friday Fresh Meat Raffle Draw
The steaks are up baby now … Bits of cow
Cmon cmon cmon maybe now ... A bit of hog or sow,
You know there’s prizes to win, And I think you know how,
To get some stuff for the weekend, Get yr tickets right now.
Friiiii – Daaaay Freeeeeesh Meeeeat - In the boardroom right now!
Parody of 'Beds are Burning' by Midnight Oil - written for Friday Fresh Meat Draw
Out there in the courtyard, Stands a man … a cooking bloke,
The barbecue is low on diesel, The burners 400 degrees …
Now Friday’s come, Ya cupboard’s bare,
You paid the rent, Selling your SCA shares.
Til payday comes, Your only chance,
For weekend meat … Is in Singo’s sack.
Give me the tongs coz the steaks need turning.
I’m not wearing pants and my sausage is burning.
Can we eat meat on the money we’re earning?
A lack of iron in my diet is a bit concerning!
Yeah Friday’s come, Get off your seat,
Get in the draw, For Friday Fresh Meeeeat ….
Parody of 'YMCA by The Village People - written for Friday Meat Draw
Young man, You been working all week,
I said young man, and your week aint complete,
Unless, young man, get your hands on fresh meat
Hear the call of those meat-balls
It’s time to get yourself to Friday Fresh Meat,
It’s time to get yourself to Friday Fresh Meat, (yeah)
We got t-bone for all
And the winning’s a cinch
I got buns, and you got mince ….
It’s time to get yourself to Friday Fresh meat,
It’s time to get yourself to Friday Fresh meat, (yeah)
There’s a sausage for me,
There’s a sausage for you,
There’s a sausage to share for two …
Get your ticket out for Friday Fresh meat,
Yes your number’s up for Friday Fresh meat … Yeah!
Let’s go heat up the beat,
Let’s go search for fresh meat,
Let’s go sit on the warmest seat …
Everybody’s up for Friday fresh meat
Get me Friday Fresh meat yeah … [etc Fade]