HANGIN' OUT WITH THE OLD FELLAS - a podcast series

The Attrick Brothers, Jerry & Barry, review the week's events, LIVE (more or less) from the Spindly Pines Nursing Home Sick Bay.
​Or the library. Or the timeout room.
​

The Old Fellas - A Trailer
The Awards judges asked us to explain what the podcast is all about. Seriously?! How can we explain in under 10 minutes what this thing actually is??? Oh well - we had a go ...

Pilot Episode ...
 Jerry loses a close personal friend, then the boys sell some product, then they confront the elephant in the room. And then Frank Bumm wants to get in on the Old Fellas' success.  Oh - and then Jerry wants to talk about his hernia. ​Don't say you weren't warned ...

Co-pilot Episode ...
Jerry invites their sister, Peetie, in for a chat but, then again ... Barry worries about the covid bubble and the covid passport. Wilhelm stops by for a quick scream, Frank Bumm loses some mail, then Jerry fakes palpitations challenging for ​the family table tennis crown.
Good luck getting all that under control, Matron.

The Off-cuts of Old Fellas (April 2021)
​Barry has a habit of saying things that scare the kiddies. But it helps his asthma. And distracts from his lumbago. So we gather up the bits that have been cut off from The Old Fellas and we stitch them together for the grown ups. Keep out of reach of children.

Something Important to Remember ...
Barry gets chatting and misses an appointment. Jerry gets as cranky as an old person. Barry forgets what he remembered. Jerry maintains the rage while reading the newspaper. Barry gets nervous about potatoes.
​In the end, Jerry smells like old person.
​Oh - never mind ...

Appreciating the Attrick Angle 
​Barry efficiently closes the door but drops something. Yes - in an enclosed space. The Brothers survive to introduce some entertainment for the amusement of the faces peering through the window. They tackle a mouse, find someone even older than themselves and then debunk a claim the earth has stopped rotating. In the end, Jerry learns the truth - finally. At 83. And so, the static buzz continues ...

The Off-cuts of Old Fellas (May 2021)
You gotta love it when the Old Fellas get some extra exposure. Even the seedy underside. And these Old Fellas have an underside that's particularly seedy, in an almost palatable kind of way.
So here they are - The Old Fellas: the Ugly Bits. A whole month's worth.
​Not for the kiddies. Not for the feint-hearted. Not for internal use. 

The Ongoing Suck of Life
Barry uncovers a mystery: life half sucks.
Sport might be ageist, but the brothers reminisce anyway – but was it really worth paying the royalties?
Jerry finds a weird one while sifting through someone else's Daily Motion.
Getting the tight gold hot pants on for this episode was a chore - let's hope it pays off, Matron.

The Sound of Open Circles
It's attack an Attrick week. There's breakage. There's fear and loathing. There's cling wrap and other deadly weapons. Like, for example, a dead skunk - and Shakespeare. (Don't ask .)
In the end, Jerry does it again. Lawyer not included. 

The Off-cuts of Old Fellas (June-July 2021)
These are the bits of the Old Fellas that otherwise would not be on public view. So - you know ... It's not pretty. But somehow you just can't take your eyes off it. Or your ears. Just so long as it doesn't get too offensive to your olfactory sense. 

Live n Lollygaggin' with the Old Fellas
Barry's week is filled with a highlight. Twice! Thank you Mavis, and Pat the Nurse. Jerry plays Follow the Leader before it's too late. The clock's ticking, so, these Old Fellas just wanna have fun - time after time after time after time after ...

Six Nipples Between Them
Barry is flummoxed by Gertrude - what a scandal! Skulduggery with the new librarian - more scandal! Meanwhile, Jerry puts his back out trying to walk like an 80s girlband.

Warm and Wet and Fully Committed
The boys sort out the fan club, but Barry still confronts unabashed Attrick-mania. On the upside, they soon realize Western Civilisation is in good Septuagenarian hands. Time for a disoriented stroll - and don't worry about the bombers!

Energy Levels, Lumbago & Methane
Life! It's really about lumbago, methane, Greta and the quest to vaccinate against them all. So, we promise - when it's done, Jerry promises he'll tell you all about it on the 6.30 news.

Barry's Turn and Jerry's Flop
Barry gets bad news - but gets it all wrong. To be expected, what with the ear problems and all. Meanwhile, Jerry's high hopes hit new lows. But! He can still impress at the club - if the comb-over behaves.

New Year's Special
Christmas. Covid. Babs & the Bube. It's all coming at the Old Fellas - thick and fast! In the end, Jerry wonders if he was responsible for the break-up of the Beatles. Order more Saw Palmetto! (Look it up on Google ...

The World is Fixed
Geo-political turmoil? No worries. Barry and Jerry are onto it.
​If only the weather would let up ...
Actually, they can fix that too – if you’re old enough.​

Return of the Attrick
​The boys are back in town. Or rather, back in continent. Especially after Barry's accident. Mavis denies all responsibility, of course. In the end, it's a case of 'when Jerry met Harry'. Warning: stay off the footpath!

The Outdoor Edition
​Bloody hell! They've got out! Just when the rain let up and you thought it was safe, Jerry and Barry are out in the open throwing around sharp objects and bad dad jokes. Near, far, wherever you are - look both ways before crossing the Atlantic. Merryl Streep speaking.

Battle of the Theme Songs
It's Battle of the Theme Songs. It all comes down to what you're hiding in ya bananas. And ya potatoes. And ya theme song lyrics. Hidden meaning everywhere. Then someone yelled, "Fire!"​

Clairvoyant & Loving It
Jerry gets spooky! By accident. Barry gets worried. By accident. But of course - accidents will happen. What is quite deliberate though: Jerry makes a simple song very complicated. All in all, it's just a-nother episode in the can.​

Right Royal Tribute Special Edition Thingy
At the very real prospect of going straight to hell, The Attrick Brothers lift the lid on what really happened at the Queen's bedside. It pays to have connections. And since Elton's been frozen out of this one, Jerry steps into the breach ...

Johnson (and Enemies) Versus Picasso
Your favourite Old Fellas wave Her Elizabeth-ness a final goodbye. Meanwhile, Boris gives way to 'Natasha'. And Picasso dons a tutu. Jerry's final testament is double white, so the family punches on. I blame the cat ...

Asteroids,  Hacks and Goodnight Mrs Potts
​Baz feels interstellar pain in the asteroid. Then his personals leak. One hack and you never get your luggage back. Finally, Jerry faces the legacy of his years at the gym ... 

Live from the Timeout Room
Tazuni!!!! The magic word that'll get you in trouble every time. It's what happens when you swap your Johnson for a Truss and then back again. Jerry makes waves and your Old Fellas end up in timeout ... 

Ready? Aim? Fire anyway
Oh dear - someone yelled, "FIRE!" One of the most dangerous things you can do in a nursing home. Hope the gun cabinet has a good lock on it. No? Well that's a new level of Reckless. Enjoy. ​

An Attrick's Brush with Fame
​Welcome to the days of remakes getting gold. And a real client wants an advert lashed with extra Old Fellas. In the end, Jerry plays dress-ups and for his trouble, gets banned from the USA.

Holidays in Review (Action Packed)
Over-eating. Under-dressed. Too many dead people. But in between the holiday period coughed up a headline or nine. Miracle cure included. Magic!!​

The Ghost of Attrick Future
Hallucinogenic meds aside, the boys dabble in a little Surrealistic sojourning, all in a quest to find a solution to Australian Rugby woes. Recruit Prince Harry, George Pell and a few German fish. Problem solved. Fry pan in one hand, red pen in the other ... ​

Of Balloons and Birds Extinction Rebellion, Attrick-style
Barry sobs. Mickey's head explodes. And none of the numbers add up.
​My! My! Good thing Jerry wins Eurovision!  

Confusion. Clarity. Catastrophe.
We got earth-shaking good news. We got Cate bringing home the bacon. But she got no EGOT. We're shattered. So Jerry starts an intervention, an agitation, an affirmation. You will believe ...!

An Attrick World Record
​Yes Hangers! This is it! The official world's longest Old Fellas so far! Even if the Guinness Book refuses to put their signature on it. You be the judge! Either way, this one don't belong with all the small things ... 

Up Your Magnesium
Beach fun? It's done! Damned sand - ruins everything. But now, it's the Royal Surf Lifesaving Association grinding your gears. NSW gets revenge at the ballot box! See how it's done, Victoria! Be careful what you wish for on ya carbon-neutral kebab! You could end up with asteroids! But you can work them off on the dance floor.

Beware the Easter Wombat
The Old Fellas explore the true meaning of Easter, wombats and Aussie barley. If that don't give you satisfaction, ya mum sells canola.

Youth! Out of! Control!
Young people!!! What's the matter with them?! Whatever it is, Barry & Jerry can relate. Are they disillusioned by the false start that is ... the space race? Jerry to the rescue, playing the anti-hero. If only he had her legs ...

Charley and the Big Hat
​Big Charley (aka Darth Windsor) goes to the Big House and gets himself a Big Hat, plus one for the missus. There's a lot of swearing - seems the crown sits uncomfortably. Well, that's Jerry's theory. Jenny Craig's had enough - so has Father Bob ... So they decide to go together. Next thing - Jerry claims he's like a virgin!!! Matron and the Queensland Police get involved and next thing ... It is ON!

Oh! How Convenient!!!
It's a set up! It's a conspiracy! It's an expose! The Old Fellas have audio! And! Moving Pictures! You'll be sorry you looked.

Divas to the left, divas to the right
​The tragic demise of one diva. The tragic rise of another. We all must take our place on the Great Mandela. Then we just wash up on the shore like a discarded novelty phone. Chill out pot-heads. Chill out.

The Ballad of Dame Lady Jay Ferkin
Live and dining! The Old Fellas upturn the family vibe at the local Chinese. Talking too loud. Slopping the hot sauce. And as for the sweeteners!!! Jerry can't get enough! But he'll pay for it on the way home. So will everyone else on the bus! 

When Your Tan Fails and Other Spoonerisms
​The end of an era leaves a bad taste in everyone's mouth. It's enough to make you want to invade Poland - or get lost at sea trying. Either way, the whole thing rubs Jerry the wrong way. How the bloody hell do you count whales anyway?!

Existential Crises R Us
De-genderings ahoy! Sign this petition now! Sharpen your nib and scrawl your signature with an Old Fella. Jerry visits the grand-daughter and slops tomato sauce on everything. Now THERE'S an idea for an ad!

The Princess of Ireland & a Horse
Mourning in the morning - nothing compares. But the old fellas know the perfect antidote - cake and sport. And of course, some deep shut-eye afterwards.

Off-cuts of Old Fellas - August 2023
Two Old Fellas in one room - there's bound to be those bits that get cut off and left on the floor. So we scooped up them bits 'n' stuck 'em together. A string of Old Fella Off-cuts - now with extra offness.

The Mighty 'M' Word
When 'M' Fever takes over the nation, your favourite Old Fellas are NOT immune! it just comes down to which particular 'M' Fever they're gunna catch. No stress - Billy Slater will sort it out! And who knew those old 'Carry On' films could be this smooth.

Spindly Pines to Uluru via Dublin
​Brace! Brace! Brace!!! Bloody Albo's done us a mischief! I suppose we're better off than your average Qantas passenger. Speaking of getting cancelled, be careful who ya kiss! And if ya gunna flash - make it a Quarterflash! That's more than enough heart trouble for one day ...

Mystery Objects, Mystery Places
Barry! Where the bloody hell did you find that? And what do you plan to do with it? Oh, don't stick it up there! Apologies viewers - there's no stopping him sometimes. And in an episode full of new revelations, we can reveal: Jerry loves Joan Jett, sans the boots apparently.

Beaucoup de Off-Cuts
​All through 3rd quarter 2023, we've been saving them up. Yes, there's time for celebration. There's time for regret. And there's time for bangin' around in the bins looking for those bits of tape that we left on the cutting room floor. Then it's time to splice them all together and give them a public airing. The rude bits. The scary bits. The borderline disgusting bits. The off-cuts ... Yeah - that bit!

Warning Alert! Vegan in Shower!
At last! An episode with everything! Vegan stuff! Olympic stuff! Prime Minister stuff! Plus baked beans thrown in. Just don't any get stuck on you.

October 14 - That's a Wrap
Sports Day! Awards night! And a Referendum thrown in just to ramp up the nerves. October 14 2023: proof that too much activity is never enough. Price includes one way ferry ride to King Arthur's resting place. Soothing ointment extra.

On Being An Old Fella: the ups-n-downs
From the highs of New York awards success, to the bottom of the Hawkesbury River! Ya gotta tell it like it is - even if it isn't! Yep, hangers and danglers - outa the subway the bullets rip ...

Mavis, Magpies & Plunging Potatoes
T'is the season, Hangers! The magpies are dive-bombing. The Spuds are attacking. Albo, Kim & Bill Gates are cuttin' loose. Nippon nervousness abounds. Jerry must make a major decision: the white dress, or the red? I dunno - ask Emily Bronte ... ​

The Bugs, The Meds, The Moon, The ‘Rona: 2023 Comeback Tour
The bugs are swarming. The meds are spilling. The ‘rona is making a comeback! A World Tour no less! The band will never speak to each other again, and Boomers everywhere will demand Jerry apologize.

Spindly Pines Christmas Poultry
Yes! It's that time of year again! The Spindly Pines Christmas outing. And to celebrate, Anastasia resigns! The laugh's on you Queensland. Ho! Ho! Ho! Who'd be a turkey at Christmas? Elton, Bernie & Madonna, apparently!

December 2023 – The Off Cuts. Part 1 Rated M.
​The boys forget their PG rating in the bits that end up on the floor. But you can’t stop the librarian scooping up all the loose tapes and randomly sticking them back together. So here they are: bits off the floor 2023. 

January 2024 - The Holiday Off Cuts Part 2. Rated M
​Matron and the librarian have gone berserk! Enough said. But apart from that, they've stuck these random bits of tape together in a completely random order. Even announcement guy isn't safe! Keep out of reach of children.

Jan 2024: the next bit - Holiday Off-cuts Part 3. Rated M
​When the Attrick Brothers do it, they REALLY do it. But just what the hell, is "IT"? I dunno. Ask Stephen King. Or the Addams Family. Rest assured Matron & Librarian will ruin the Attrick reputation with these random snippets. So nothing's wasted. (Except Mavis, but that's a story for Episode one ...)

The Boss's Warning: Beware the Bore-Out
The boys are back on the job. And the Christmas New Year break has left an untidy trail of headlines that need to be dealt with. So! Break the lock on the door of the sound booth, and let's get on with it - no matter what the Boss tells ya!​

Ep 49-R: (NEW) Revised! Re-edited! Remixed! Returned!
Yes hangers! It's the new and improved Episode 49 ... New parody and everything! The censor stuck a skewer through the old Episode 49! So, librarian grabbed the safety scissors and snipped out the offending bits. Now Episode 49 is leaner, shorter - tastier! And that never goes out of style. ​

Let's Try That Again (Had the Silly Thing in Reverse)
It's happened again, viewers! Damned censorship board took one sample of Episode 50 and voted with a resounding, "Nyet!" As in, 'Not yet.' So it was Matron's turn to attack the original cassette tape with the safety scissors. And hey presto - there goes 3 minutes! Never to be found again.

​The Greatest Old Fellas Podcast in History!
​Special effects! Special guests! Special specials! And that's just the introduction! It's all to celebrate the collapse of Western Civilisation. And just for the kiddies, Jerry guzzles down the most difficult song parody - EVER! Good Lord, that's moist!

Just Ad Lib and Stir
So! Barry's orf! Having "the procedure" ... So here's some impromptu bits we prepared earlier. Mouth in gear before brain - guaranteed. Someone call the media!

Just Ad Lib and Revolt
​Barry's procedure went splendidly, but he's warned off microphones 'til the scarring ripens ... which'll be a while coz it's grey at the moment. Anyway, thanks for the cards and chocolates. I ate them all before I got them to Barry, so I'm not sure whether to tell him. What'dya think viewers? Let's take a vote - no more monkee'ing around!

A Touch of the Yoko Onos
Baz is back! Easter is back! VIP Airforce Jet travel is back!
​Even those Chinese Golden Waving Cats are back! And who knows why.
Probably just because …

Aunt Etna, the Eclipse & the Edge of Human Endurance
Who'da thought 50 years could get past us?! Yes, it's a quick Attrick celebration of the 70s, whacky chemicals included. Then a quick Attrick celebration of all things marathoning. Followed by a lot of plunging and plummeting! But hey - that's life on the edge ... wooooooh! Watch-under!!!! (Just don't mention Sam Kerr ...)

Uncle Wang, Winx & the Invasion of the Soul Snatchers
Yep! Jerry called it - someone drugged the soup! And what does Melbourne get in return? Jabba, Twiggy and their decadent entourage! I dunno - it's all just too low for zero!

Cardi B Versus Switzerland
Once again the Old Fellas get painted in gold, 007-style. The Attricks recycle a Grammy or three, Mr Analovski gets named Contortionist of the Week, and Jerry's butt transfigurates into the 5th Dimension! Someone! Dettol!

Gina, the Grandkids and the Hoo Harr!
This is: Ad Libitum Ad Nauseum! Jerry and Barry get in touch with their Latin rhythms. Lorem Ipsum - but with sound! There's National Gallery controversy. Ticketmaster controversy. And Corona Virus silliness ... again! It all takes its toll on the Aussie swim team. Again!

The Body Scan, Edible Lego and the Watch
​This time it's: Ad Libitum Ad Infinitum. More Latin rhythms. More Lorem Ipsum with noise. The addendum to the compendium to the appendix. then Jerry turns off his mind to commit utter sacrilege! He is now condemned to eternity in the Void.

Abbreviations R Us
It's not easy to be made redundant at Spindly Pines Nursing Home. But that's a good reason for the Attrick Brothers to give it a go. Along the way, there's a bit of Dicky Knee action. A bit of Apollo 8 inaction. ABBA get crowned - or something. And then Australian cricket goes the wobbly. Man! I feel like a lie down!

​Nerd Kelly Strikes Again - and that Dick Tracy!
Spindly Pines Governors decide the Attricks are redundant. So Barry and Jerry go into hiding. Yes, it's the podcast from the crypt, Hangers! Now if they can just find the can opener! Jerry has to play it cold - and amber. Break out the Pepper Potts!

50 Ways to Dump a Candidate
Yes - everyone's ducking bullets. Someone's dunking the wife. And Jerry's dodging the rain but not the pain, in a heart fluttering tribute to an entire continent.

Faster, Higher, Stupider - The Attrick Five Rings Festival Special
It's the Festival of the Five Rings - Spindly Pines style. Let's scull some steroid soup, grab a paddle and a pair of togs, then head off to Paris representing Aussie octogenarianism. Doing what octogenarians do best - whingeing, gettin' it wrong and falling asleep mid-senten ..........ce ... The situation is tailor made!

Ep 62 - Is There Life After Paris?
It's the veneration of today's Aussie athletes and the demise of yesterday's. No fear, Hangers! Barry and Jerry have all the highs, the lows and the in-betweens. Especially the in-betweens. Get your baggy pants on sports fans - it's silly dance time!

Ep 63 - Disentanglement Central
Well!!! You never know what you'll find in ya Morning Motion - if you look close enough. A bloody great Cetacean! A true Whippomorphian! Barry questions its motives, but Jerry just accepts its presence. In fact - he feels it in his fingers, he feels it in his toes ...

Happy Anniversary, Denzel
Denzel of Dubbo's ashes have a birthday. The hired assassin misses again! Underpants have a day out! Oh - and not to mention: Debbie's Boobs! Meanwhile, we await the return of the sausages. So, let's celebrate! You, me and the Sailor - over a glass of champagne!

Uncle Albo Gets a Beehive (Hairdo that is ...)
No faffing about, Hangers - chalk up a red letter day! Albo justifies his existence and his out-of-control hairdressing . But we'll overlook it on this occasion. Qantas get it wrong (again), but Elon gets it right. So, we can all sleep at night. Meanwhile, Morty's pacemaker short circuits and Jerry does Gerry! Liverpool FC will never be the same.

Ep 66 Part 1 - Please Listen. We're Behaving!
After an enforced hiatus, Baz n Jez make a comeback. Plenty of headlines. Plenty of updates. Plenty of hangin' out. It might be summer romance season, but the arranged marriage to James Packer is OFF!

Ep 66 Part 2 - Jerry's Big Confession
In a feeble attempt to boost ratings, and against legal advice, Jerry makes an on-air confession - to everything! Shooting JFK. Faking the moon landing. The Napoleonic Wars. Cue the tell-all tome. Complete the medley. Split the light spectrum.
Meh. A typical day really ... 

Mozart's Birthday and Other Trauma
After 269 years, it's time to reset. So the Attricks reach into the soap opera kitbag and pull out a classic reset narrative. But Jerry's not taking it lying down. In ya dreams! I mean, seriously! Ella Fitzgerald, Johnny Mathis and Ray Stevens will be rolling in their graves! 

Betsy on Heat (and other complaints)
The redactions have been unredacted. The documents have been documented. And what goes on in the back seat should stay in the back seat ... If ONLY! To be honest, having the radio on was very distracting. So were the windscreen wipers. Bloody weather. At least we'll always have Elon ...

The Death of Batman: Near-Miss of the Century
Yes - it's Vale Val Kilmer. But he had 25 years he shouldn't have, so it's all good. Barry discovers Nurse Bukesham is a mutant. No hand-modelling contract for her. But on the bright side, with dexterity like that, it's so easy to fall in love.